Pop up gratitude

9/11/2022

I took off early from work this past Friday. Headed back to the house to pack up the pop up, so we could take the two little ones (5 & 3), on their third camping trip this summer. This is also my wife's birthday weekend.

Typically a hard time for me.

What I mean by that is I will often fall short(in my head) celebrating my wife, and boy do I "love" falling short. It allows me to wallow and stew in "not good enough" and really jump into a head space I really hate to be in, but am sooo comfortable being in.

This whole scenario, weekend away from home, kids out of routine, wife's birthday, putting my life and projects on hold, just spells recipe for igniting all my limiting beliefs.

So I get home and go to start packing the camper, and wouldn't you know, as I start to raise the pop up so I can open it and pack it, it won't raise......

"How about calling Alex or Joey? Maybe they could come help." My wife suggests. First limiting belief sparks.......

I don't want to call these friends of mine to help me. "They're at work". I tell myself. That is the truth but, I know they'd come in a minute to help if I just asked and they had a minute to shoot over, three minutes down the road to help me, yet I hesitate.

It wasn't asking them for help that gets me, it was more the little snag I hit trying to raise the camper.

When I hit snags, I want to quit.

I throw in the towel.

I use it to deflate and slump over.

This is "one of the things I do" or "how I do it". I use experiences like these to stay in a flat life of disconnect, feeling like I disappoint my wife and kids, feel like I'm stupid or "should know how" to fix it myself. And I certainly allow it to ruin the vibe of what is supposed to be a fun weekend.

I have done this my whole life. But this Friday was different. I called. I asked Alex if he had a minute to come look at the camper. He of course shot by when he had a free minute and after10 or 15 minutes he was leaving after having fixed the camper for us.

It may sound small but this small action and the insight into being able to recognize what was going on for me, carried through the weekend, and created a bunch of positive momentum for me all weekend.

I was more engaged with my whole family. I felt it. I saw more moments throughout my weekend where I had choices to step over thresholds into new ways of being and expanding myself, so my children could learn how to show up in a positive way in the world that will build confidence in themselves. I was more engaged with my wife. I took initiative in the trip and was a part of Instead of having to be dragged along. ( there were absolutely points where I had to be dragged, but not as many)

It was a great trip. A small but powerful trip where I received and shared gratitude with my family. ( I also shared just a little of that gratitude when usually I stay silent and treat the whole excursion like work)

Change continues to happen if I continue to remain reachable and open to looking for the moments I can learn from. Showing up and engaging created the momentum to build new futures.